(T)- Tom
(M)- Mark
(S)- Satan
(T)- I’m gonna come back and I’m gonna start, I’m gonna start a therapeutic massage center only for for
(M)- I’M GONNA START MY OWN NUDIST COLONY!
(T)- That’d b gross, we tried that in our bus one time
(M)- I tried to start a nudist colony one time on our bus and it wuz pretty much jus me hangin out naked…. They luv u Tom
(T)- THEY LUV ME SO FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE!!!
(M)- yea, fuck all u guys out there that r cheering we hate u Tom u sux dick burn in hell
(T) yea fuck that, hey I say, I say fuck the hating Tom thing, that’s wut I say, r we ready Mark?
(M)- Ya know wut it iz, ya know wut it iz… a lot of these people r now jus jumpin on the ‘we hate Tom band wagon’ I’ve been hatin Tom since like 1995 I’m old skool hatin Tom guy
(T)- o shit… hey let’s all say sum dirty words EVERY1 SAY FUCK (fuck)… EVERY1 SAY SHIT (shit)… EVERY1 SAY DICK (dick)… every1 say Mark’s an asshole (Mark’s an asshole)
(M)- every1 say, every1 say we hate Mark (we hate Mark) YEA!
(T)- hey now let’s do this one every1 say FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK!! (fuck fuck shit fuck), That’s the kinda words u should b usin at home kids….
(M)- That’s right
(T)- What do we do now?
(M)- I want every1 to call me an asshole again
(T)- Wuts up I like your hair, it very nice
(M)-u like his hair o that’s kool he prolly appreciates that a lot
(T)- no I wanted to say I liked his butt but I thought that wuz too forward, ya know
(M)- Hey this next songs for all the ladies in the HEZOWS….It’s for all the ladies in the
(T)- Hey Mark
(M- in the HEOWAOWZOWWS!!…
(T)- Hey Mark shut the fuck up
(M)- it’s for all the ladies in the HEYOWZEOAOWS!! weeeee…..hey ya know wut hang on, I wanna make this like a big golf
(T)- ::BURPS:: excuse me
(M)- excuse Tom
(T)- Sorry
(M)- I wanna make this like a big golf tournament everyone shut up, everyone jus clap like it’s a golf tournament (crowd claps)
(T)- That’s wut it sound like when I get done having sex…15,000 people cheerin me on, I COULD TAKE ALL OF U IN MY BED RIGHT FUCKIN NOW!!! But your not invited Mark… You have got giant boobs and I doubt your 18,do u have a note from your mom? I wanna meet your mom
(M)- HEY PUT THOSE 13 YEAR OLD BOOBS AWAY! If I wanted to c 13 year old boobs I’d hang out by the junior high like my dad does
(T)- hey ya know wut I learned in 5th grade?
(M)- Wut, your dad has a bent wiener?
(T)- My dad’s wiener wuz bigger than mine then and.. still iz…
(M)- I want every1 here 2 scream, fuck u Tom we fuckin hate u your gonna burn in hell and die a horrible fiery death cuz we think you’re a stupid piece of shit (crowd repeats)
(T)- I heard that
(M)- Thanx
(T)- Wanna give me your shirt? This smells like blood and ficeses… dinner time…hey wut does this say here…
(M)- It smells like blood and ficeses so it’s your dad's shirt?
(T)- Hey just like any other band we believe in a safe form of sex don’t we Mark? That we do, so Mark’s gonna tell you about how safe we are
(M)- Lemme tell you about the safest form of sex it’s when u get super, drunk, drunk and u have sex with like 10 people totally unprotected and u do intervenes drugs at the same time… no that’s not true
(T)- Not true u gotta carry a weapon…. How many of u guys have girlfriends and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends? I hope your not having sex
(M)- And more importantly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends?
(T)- Cuz we believe in the luv that exists between two vaginas
(M)- The most special luv of all iz the luv that exists between two naked women while I watch
(T)- We need her to put her shirt back on
(M)- Please
(T)- It just took away my boner, my boner jus died, I had one and now it’s gone
(M)- Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away…. Hey hey hey hang on every1 seriously I need your attention for a second please I think somebody lost a contact down here so, every1 look around a contact lens, somebody lost a contact lens, so could
(T)- I lost my virginity
(M)- Keep an eye out for it
(T)- I lost a testicle, he wut if testicles were things you could lose on an everyday bases that’d sux, u only got 3… Hey I gotta go pee pee
(M)- Wanna go pee and I’ll talk to the kids for a second
(T)- Do u think you could talk for enough time?
(M)- No uh-uh
(T)- Why don’t you gather your thoughts…
(M)- Why don’t you wet your pants and we’ll call it even
(T)- Should I jus piss in my pants right here? If u guys alllll each pitch in a dollar each I’ll piss my pants right here and now, that should make me about 200 dollars maybe
(M)- I’ll give u 300 dollars right now to piss your pants right now
(T)- I’ll give you 400 bucks to eat my shit
(M)- SOLD!!!
(T)- SOLD!!!…. apparently there’s a kid that’s hurt right now, I think they’re helping him out right now, looks like there right there
(M)- Make a hole people, make a hole
(T)- All you people over there make way for the hurt kid, and bring me their wallet
(M)- I wish now, ya know lemme tell u guys sumthing…