Model Citizen — Waren Zevon

(Warren Zevon/Waddy Wachtel/Leroy P. Marinell)

Don't bring the milk in Leave it on the porch Don't read the papers Don't mow the lawn no more Drive to the market At the break of dawn Watch 'em unload the produce Then ride right back home

It's the white man's burden And it weighs a ton I'm a family man Model citizen

Torment the mailman Terrorize the maid Try to teach 'em some manners Whip 'em into shape Down in the basement I've got a Craftsman lathe Show it to the children When they misbehave

It's the white man's burden And it weighs a ton I'm a family man Model citizen

I'm a law-abiding man I'm a good Samaritan I pay my taxes when I can Model citizen

In the cool of the evening When the sun goes down My wife's playing canasta With everyone in town

When I feel the pressure And I need a break Load up the Winnebago Drive it in the lake

It's the white man's burden And it weighs a ton I'm a family man Model citizen