Ten Foot Cock & A Few Hundred Virgins

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Tim Minchin
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Текст, перевод и аккорды “Ten Foot Cock & A Few Hundred Virgins”
So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a ride on a UFO And when the Lord comes down with his shimmering chariot of salvation You're gonna be the first to know And so if God was there from the very beginning He invented men and women Then He also invented wanking Then He said wanking was sinning So now if I'm feeling randy I'm not allowed a hand shandy But having sex with my family That is just fucking great It's all there in Ezekiel 8 Just before he opens up His big pearly gates And says that it's a sin To take it up the date Even if it's great Even with your cowboy mate So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at the greener grass And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgement He's gonna kick my heathen ass So if you Cover the bodies of your women Everybody is grinnin' Because black is so slimmin' Though it's not great for swimmin' But it gives you an erection With the increased sexual tension What with the UV protection That is second to none You'll find it all in the Koran Just next to the bit that justifies guns And says that it's a sin To take it up the bum Even if it's fun Even with permission from your mum So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at eternity And when the Lord comes down and I haven't done my penance He's gonna disembowel me You say that If I Stumbled on a watch I'd assume it had a watchmaker That a muffin presupposes a baker So we must agree sooner or later That this proves there's a creator So if I put my foot in a stinker You'd assume the existence of a sphincter Thus you don't need to be a great thinker To conclude that God's a bum Which negates the words of Genesis 1 Which make him out to be so much fun Until Adam succumbed To temptation And then his only son Got nailed to a gum Or the Middle Eastern equivalent Which suggest that God's omniscience Is nullified by his ambivalence Unless it turns out that he's impotent And if God can't get a boner I guess that explains the plethora Of huge erections in His honour Cos we all know a steeple is just a subconscious, compensatory manifestation of a huge, stiff penis And still He tell us that it's heinous To stick a penis up your anus Even if you're famous Even if you're good at... tennis So you're gonna live in paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a ride on a UFO And when the Lord comes down with his big, stiff, slippery rod of judgement I'm gonna be the first to go He's gonna send me down below He's gonna whip me like a ho D'ya really think so? I'm gonna be the first to go

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