Performed by adam sandler and rob schneider
[sound of crickets. guy walks across grass]
Joe: "hey pal! how ya doin? "
M2: "im so wasted, man."
Joe: "yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"
M2: "thanks man."
Joe: "its good party, huh? "
M2: "oh, its great man."
Joe: "hey thats some good acid, huh? "
M2: "oh, killer man."
Joe: "hey, my pleasure."
M2: "ive never been higher."
Joe: "oh ho, you must be freaking out."
M2: "acids great man."
Joe: "its the best."
M2: "everytime I do acid man, Im so high."
Joe: "yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now."
M2: "this is the best acid, man."
Joe: "what are you seein, man? "
M2: "oh, i, that cloud up there, man."
Joe: "whoa"
M2: "its got a vein in it."
Joe: "oh-holy cow! really!? "
M2: "and its bleeding on me, man."
Joe: "its bleeding on ya? well watch out!"
M2: "look at my hand, man."
Joe: "yeah? "
M2: "it-its moving, but its not moving."
Joe: "its not? "
M2: "its still there, but it looks like its moving."
Joe: "hey, yeah to you it is."
M2: "im so high."
Joe: "yeah, you must be flipping out."
M2: "im flipping out off it."
Joe: "hallucinations, man."
M2: "acid..right."
Joe: "hey, I got some news fer ya."
M2: "im seeing stuff, man."
Joe: "yeah, yer seeing stuff."
M2: "right."
Joe: "well, thats what happens when you take acid, but you know what? "
M2: "what man? "
Joe: "uhhh, that really wasnt acid. that was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook."
[silence]
M2: "wha? its probly this weed Im smokin, man."
Joe: "oh, that weed."
M2: "that thai bud, man."
Joe: "whoa."
M2: [laughing] "everythings hilarious."
Joe: [laughing] "thats funny man. look at that guy."
M2: [laughing] "thats funny man."
Joe: [laughing] "look at that guys hat man."
M2: [laughing] "everythings funny to me, man."
Joe: "right. hey, how man bones didya smoke? a few joints, man? "
M2: "i had about four."
Joe: "whoa, thats a lot of bones to be smokin, man."
M2: "the whole things man."
Joe: "yeah, you sucked em down yerself."
M2: "aint that hilarious!? "
Joe: "you didnt wanna share, didja? "
M2: "it was great stuff, man."
Joe: "aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too."
M2: "hey what man? "
Joe: "thats the stuff I sold you, right?
M2: "yeah, right."
Joe: "yeah"
M2: "its funny, man."
Joe: "well, well, uh.."
M2: "im wasted off it, man."
Joe: "yeah, well thats good. you smoked it, right? "
M2: "right."
Joe: "well that really wanst weed."
[pause]
Joe: "no it wasnt, it was pencil shavings in a bag."
[silence]
Joe: "yeah."
M2: "well, its probably this beer. this beer Im drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something. ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man."
Joe: "whoa, oh really!? "
M2: "im just..wasted off em."
Joe: "thats a lot of beer for a man to drink."
M2: "man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man."
Joe: "you didnt dump em out in the woods, didja? "
M2: "no..no..no.. I drank all of them."
Joe: "right, yeah. I saw you..thats good. hey didja eat today? "
M2: "no, Im on an empty stomach."
Joe: "whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you."
M2: "..and thats why Im so wasted off it man, its like Im seeing things, man."
Joe: "yeah, you can hardly stand, man."
M2: "you should take my car keys, cuz I cant drive, man."
Joe: "right, right."
M2: "i can barely walk."
Joe: "hey man, you better open those eyes up, theyre half shut."
M2: "theres two of you, man. I cant see anymore, man, Im blind!"
Joe: "right.. I got the beers, huh? Im the man, right? "
M2: "yeah, you are the man."
Joe: "say it. say Im the man."
M2: "yer da man!!"
Joe: "okay, well that beer.."
M2: "yeah? "
Joe: "there was no alcohol in that beer."
[pause]
Joe: "that was non-alcoholic. so..uhh..again, Im gonna have to bust you on this one. youre lying."
[silence]
M2: [mumbling] "ill be right back